The “tradwife” lifestyle has received a lot of attention in the media lately, but what does it entail? “Trad wife” is short for “traditional wife.” It is a homemaker lifestyle that is popular in the age of social media and Instagram. It evokes the 50s ideal of the wife who maintains a happy home for her husband and children. The tradwife lifestyle is often a modern, all-natural version of an older ideal that may revolve around healthy, natural organic cooking and crafts, such as knitting and sewing.
Many people enter into the homemaker lifestyle in an empowered way and find it to be a fulfilling choice. Caution is advised however, as there are risks that can come with a financially unequal relationship in the event of a divorce.
Risks of Being a Traditional Homemaker in a Marriage to a Sole Breadwinner
When you get married to someone, you naturally expect to be by their side for a long time. But what happens if your marriage is shorter? In Massachusetts, when a marriage lasts less than 5 years, alimony is limited to half of the length of the marriage. There will be many factors in play that a judge can consider, but if you divorce after a short period of time, you might find that your financial breadwinner spouse doesn’t have to compensate you for your sacrifices in the home beyond short-term alimony, or child support if you have children.
On the flipside, if you were married for a longer period of time, you may find yourself back in the job market without a lot of experience or earning potential. Even if your job and vocation was as a homemaker, the judge could consider previous work experience and any education to impute future earning potential to you, and this could cut into what you receive in the divorce.
Massachusetts is and equitable division state, meaning assets are supposed to be divided fairly based on number of factors that are referred to as the Section 34 factors. One of the factors the Court considers when dividing assets, other than the length of the marriage, is the ability of a party to acquire future capital assets. For most people that will be in the form of future income and benefits. Someone who gave up earning potential in favor of being a homemaker will likely have reduced ability to acquire future capital assets as compare to their spouse, but in reality that will likely account for only a slight increase in assets the homemaker spouse leave the marriage with.
Steps to Take to Protect Yourself If You Are a Homemaker Getting a Divorce From a Sole Breadwinner Spouse
The sad reality is that divorce often brings out the worst in people. Resentment and self-protection could cause your spouse to do things you might not expect. If the breadwinner spouse controls the finances, they could try to hide assets and make it seem like they have less than they do in the divorce.
Even if your reaction is, “my spouse would never do this,” it’s always better to be cautious and informed of your options. If you are a homemaker spouse facing divorce from a breadwinner spouse, it’s advised that you speak to an experienced Massachusetts divorce attorney as soon as possible.
Some spouses may use common myths and misconceptions about divorce against you. A sole breadwinner spouse could try to make you feel that your contributions in the home do not have as much value as their financial contribution. This may be a way to manipulate you into accepting less than you deserve. When you are getting a Massachusetts divorce, the conduct and contributions of both spouses are considered by a judge during divorce litigation. The homemaker spouse’s role is in many cases recognized as supporting the breadwinner spouse to achieve higher earning power by providing childcare and domestic labor. While it can be harder to quantify a homemaker’s contribution to the marriage because it is not physically listed on a W2 that does not make the homemaker spouse’s contributions any less valuable than the breadwinner spouse. Marriage is an economic and domestic partnership that revolves around a division of labor, which could include parenting, domestic labor and emotional labor. It’s important to recognize the value you brought to the marriage, which in the case of a dedicated homemaker could be significant and supportive of the breadwinner spouse’s economic aspirations.
Child custody and parenting may also be an issue in your divorce, particularly if you and your spouse have different parenting philosophies that may be defined by religion, politics, cultural and dietary choices. Disputes could revolve around homeschooling, children’s diet and medical care for example. Your divorce attorney can help you understand how to negotiate to get the best outcomes for your child.
If you are a homemaker spouse considering divorce from a sole breadwinner spouse, there are steps you can take to protect yourself. First contact an experienced Massachusetts Divorce Attorney who is adept at dealing with divorce with a financially complex component for non-breadwinner spouses. As soon as possible, you should begin to document your finances and gain an understanding of the extent of your marital assets. If you are in a relationship with a controlling spouse, it may be a good idea to document your spouse’s behavior. Anyone in a delicate situation should take care and contact the relevant professionals for support.
If you are entering into a traditional homemaker / breadwinner marriage, discussing finances with your spouse and making a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement earl in the marriage with the goal recognizing your contribution in the event of a divorce. Although many of these marriages can be fulfilling and based on teamwork and mutual support, it’s always better to be prepared.
If you or someone you know is a homemaker preparing to exit a traditional marriage, we encourage you to reach out to our experienced Massachusetts Divorce Attorneys to discuss your options. At Mansur Law Group, we are compassionate, dedicated attorneys who will advocate for you and help to simplify a complex situation involving children, finances, family money, domestic labor and more. Please contact us today to learn more.