After months or years of marital tension, it’s natural to want to move forward with your life and begin dating again. Many people going through a divorce in Massachusetts wonder whether they are legally allowed to date and, if so, whether it could affect their divorce case.

The short answer is that dating during a divorce should not impact the outcome of your case, unless the person has a criminal record or you are diverting marital assets to that person or in furtherance of that relationship. The biggest issue that typically arises when dating during a divorce is the emotional toll, which can result in increased conflict. Depending on the circumstances, dating while your divorce is still pending can create legal complications by opening up your new partner to deposition or creating new areas for discovery, as well as potentially affecting important issues like alimony, property division, or child custody.

If you’re considering dating during your divorce, there are important things to be aware of that could affect your divorce.

Yes, You Can Date—But You Are Still Legally Married

One important point that many people overlook is that until your divorce is finalized by the court, you are still legally married. In Massachusetts, dating during a divorce is legal. Prior to 2018, adultery was still a crime in Massachusetts. Although it is no longer a crime, Massachusetts allows divorce on fault-based grounds, and one of the grounds for a contested fault-based divorce is adultery. These divorces are very rare, as the party who wants to file a fault-based divorce must first file a complaint that includes a co-respondent, i.e., a third party to the divorce. The spouse who files the complaint must file a motion to ask the court to name the co-respondent or third party who was involved in an affair. These motions are often denied, so most cases do not move forward.

Just because an extramarital relationship doesn’t directly impact divorce, however, it doesn’t mean dating isn’t relevant to the divorce. Proof of an affair could be introduced in court as evidence of the conduct of the parties during the marriage. Even if spouses are aware that one or the other spouse is dating new partners during the divorce, a spouse who is irresponsible with finances or causes emotional distress to children could be scrutinized during the divorce litigation process, and this could affect the divorce settlement or child custody outcome.

How Dating Could Affect Alimony

Dating during divorce may also impact alimony, especially if the relationship becomes serious or involves living together.

Under Massachusetts law, alimony can be reduced, suspended, or even terminated if the spouse receiving alimony begins cohabitating with a new partner for a sustained period of time. Even before the divorce is final, a judge may consider whether a new relationship suggests that the recipient spouse has financial support from another person.

If a new partner is contributing to living expenses or providing financial support, the court may view this as a factor when determining whether alimony is appropriate. While dating itself won’t necessarily affect divorce, moving in with a new partner can have a material impact on your divorce case.

Child Custody and Parenting Considerations

For parents, dating during divorce can raise major concerns. Massachusetts courts determine custody based on the “best interests of the child,” with stability, safety, and emotional well-being  being a priority.

Dating itself will not automatically affect custody. However, problems can arise if the new relationship negatively impacts the child. For example, issues may arise if:

• Children are introduced to a new partner too quickly
• The new partner has a criminal history or concerning behavior
• The relationship disrupts the child’s routine or emotional stability
• A parent prioritizes the relationship over parenting responsibilities

In some cases, courts may even place restrictions on introducing children to a new romantic partner during the divorce process.

Divorce can already be stressful for children, and introducing a new partner too soon can sometimes increase confusion or emotional strain.

Financial Consequences to Keep in Mind

Another potential issue with dating during divorce is the financial impact. Divorce courts in Massachusetts carefully review marital assets and expenses. If one spouse spends a lot of money on a new partner, spending excessively on expensive gifts, vacations, or dinners, those expenses could be examined in court.

In some cases, spending marital funds on a new relationship may be considered “dissipation of assets,” which could affect the division of property during the divorce.

In addition, public social media activity about a new relationship can sometimes become evidence in divorce proceedings. For example, posts about lavish outings or expensive purchases could be used to challenge claims about financial hardship.

Risks of Dating in High Net Worth Divorces

In high-net-worth divorces, the financial stakes are higher, and dating during the divorce process may invite even greater scrutiny. Where substantial assets are involved, for example, investment portfolios, business interests, real estate holdings, or executive compensation packages, both parties and their legal teams typically examine financial records in detail. If a spouse begins financially supporting a new partner or using marital funds for travel, luxury gifts, or shared living expenses, those transactions may be questioned during asset division. In some cases, a spouse may argue that marital assets were improperly diverted to benefit a new relationship. This can complicate negotiations and ultimately affect the division of property. In high asset cases, maintaining clear financial boundaries during the divorce process is rewarded.

The Emotional Reality: Dating May Cause Conflict

Legal aspects aside, dating during divorce can escalate conflict between spouses. Divorce is already an emotionally charged process, and the fallout of a new relationship can intensify disputes over finances, custody, or parenting time.

In some cases, this added tension can prolong the divorce process and increase legal costs. What might otherwise have been a relatively conflict-free negotiation can quickly turn into a more contentious dispute.

For this reason, many family law professionals recommend focusing on the divorce itself before pursuing a new relationship.

Practical Tips If You Choose to Date

If you do decide to date during your divorce, there are several ways to minimize potential complications:

• Avoid introducing your children to a new partner too soon
• Do not spend significant marital funds on dating
• Keep your dating life private, especially on social media
• Avoid moving in with a new partner until the divorce is finalized
• Speak with your attorney about how a new relationship could affect your case
  

Every divorce situation is unique, and what may be harmless in one case could create complications in another.

To Date or Not to Date During a Massachusetts Divorce

Dating during a divorce in Massachusetts is legal, but it should be approached with caution. Even though courts typically focus on fairness and the best interests of children rather than moral judgment, a new relationship can still influence financial decisions, custody arrangements, and the overall tone of your divorce proceedings.

For many people, the safest approach is simply to wait until the divorce is finalized before beginning a new relationship. Doing so can help reduce conflict, protect your interests, and allow you to focus on building a stable future for yourself and any children you may have.

If you would like to discuss any issues that may arise during divorce, such as the impact of dating or navigating a new relationship, contact Mansur Law Group.

Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. Reading this article does not create an attorney-client relationship. Every case is different. If you need advice about your situation, consult with an attorney.

​